I knew my parents were having problems working through life's ups and downs.
My parents and their respected families were very different people. My mother's family is jovial, enjoys the holidays, embraces all children, informative constantly teaching children things of life, of how things work. Very accepting and always there to help.
In contrast my father's family are sullen people. Everything is black or white. Life is hard, children are clay to be shaped in the perfect image of church going quiet beings. You must be thankful for every morsel of bread. Life here on earth is to be lived in fear of wrong thoughts, wrong actions. Hell and damnation is waiting for anyone short of a God-fearing Born Again Christian. There is not enough money, resources, time to spend on frivolous things and or outings. We do not have enough to share. We are too busy having a perfect clean house, sewing clothing, practicing music for church to interact with anyone. Also in that "wonderfully Christian competitive way" if you did not keep a perfect house, sew at a certain level, or play a musical instrument you are not as righteous as those whom do those things. If you are not busy doing the work of the LORD, then you are lazy, worthless, inconsiderate, and most of all a sinner going to burn in hell forever.
In defense of this life style, there are very good reasons I am glad to have had this influence in my life. I had a fantastic traditional Bible study upbringing. I had a grandmother that taught me to get on my knees three times a day to pray. I knew I had a grandmother that prayed for me everyday. I learned to play the piano, cook, crochet, sew and clean house. I had beautifully hand sewn tailored clothing, and knew how to "act" at church or people's homes. I learnt thriftiness, patience, and how not to fidget for hours at a time.
My grandfather was a "hell and damnation" missionary to the Native Americans on the Indian Territories of Oklahoma, Texas, Arkansas and Arizona. He often used his ability as a car mechanic to get access to the reservations to do "his real work" which was to win souls for the LORD. They moved often, many days they went without food, I will share stories about that later.
I am just anxious to share this sad but true twist of fate that shaped so many of our lives.